I remember the day we first met.

How desperately you tried to convince me that I am the one for you. You are so smitten by me. There's no one else but me for you. I remember having a hard time believing you. Folks reading this might be thinking how can a guy say all this to a gal on their first date. Some background is needed here. Its like this..the guy (who went on to become my husband) and I had met on a matrimonial site. We had chatted on the internet, spoken on the phone and all before we decided to meet up.

Somehow I wasnt that convinced that he was "the one" for me. I must give him full marks for the effort he put in convincing me. Right down to tears and all. When something seems too good to be true, its probably is. I should have known. I should have trusted my gut instinct. What is the point in thinking about that now.

I remember the day we got married; he took my hand in his and said " I shall always keep you happy". Ironically, I didn’t make a reciprocal promise. Have I been happy in this marriage? I would be lying if I say that it was all bad. There were happy moments. It is not that we did not try. I will not blame him and neither will I take the fall for this. We were just incompatible for each other. There was this clash of ideals and personalities.

These days, when I see seemingly happily married couples, with kids and all, I wonder what did they do right? Why did things not work out in my case? A friend of mine said, for a marriage to work, one person needs to give up and let the other person win. Is that what marriage is about? Giving up one's fondest wishes and desires to make one's spouse happy? I know many (ladies especially) who do this without blinking an eye. Maybe that's where I didn't get it right. I was willing to sacrifice, but only so much. What he asked from me was too much for me to give.

Why does the onus of making a marriage work always fall on the woman? Why does society expect her to always do the compromising and the adjusting? I guess that is the way society is and I am born into this society. A woman is supposed to be submissive and subservient to the man. No matter how educated you are, how well you earn, how accomplished you are, if you are a woman, you are considered to be inferior/ the second sex. Here I go raving and ranting again.

This was supposed to be a nice, walking down the memory lane kind of post. But it’s turned out something else. Can’t be helped.

Typed what I felt.

Ciao